Fragrance in Campuses
This is an amazing piece of testimony by a young woman in Beijing:
Chapter One
I accepted Christ Jesus in the year 2000. At that time I was 17 years old in my first year of junior college.
During my time in junior college I suffered from insomnia, to the point that I even considered dropping out of school several times. But all the teachers encouraged me to continue with my studies, so that I could at least be able to enter the university undergraduate course. Ultimately, I managed to score the highest grade out of my entire class in the liberal arts field. All of the teachers were amazed, and had no idea how this happened, but I myself am clearly aware of the reason.
I wrestled with God throughout my junior college years, unwilling to follow His guidance. Before my college entrance exams, I could not sleep for 3 continuous days, even with the help of 3 Valiums. By the third sleepless night, I was so filled with agony that I finally prostrated myself before God in tears. I prayed earnestly to Him, confessing to Him my weakness and inability. I realized that even the dogs and pigs could fall asleep whenever they wanted; yet I, in such arrogance that I was in control of everything, had no control over my own physical body. I finally said to God, “I am willing to follow you, I am willing to give up my arrogance, I am willing to change. I surrender my entire life into your hands, so do as you please with it!” As soon as I made this prayer, I immediately fell into a deep sleep.
The next day at the examination hall, I was not in the least bit tired at all. Instead I felt entirely renewed, and my heart was filled with inner peace and joy. Whether I could pass my college entrance exams was no longer my utmost concern. The most important thing to me was that I knew Jesus was by my side now, that He was accompanying me into the exam hall, and that He will accompany me along my lifelong road to the very end.
From then on before every single test, I would pray silently. I did not ask Him to let me do well, but instead asked for His leading so that I could walk the road He has prepared for me, and beseeched Him to never leave me.
After the examinations, I had already done all the preparations for staying one more year in junior college for courses make-up. No matter what the results, I knew Jesus was beside me, so I was not scared at all.
My exam results were soon released, amazing everyone. My heart was immediately filled with awe and reverence for the Lord. I knew this was His doing. I knelt on the floor and offered thanksgiving to Him.
Chapter Two
On September, 2002, I entered a famous university in Beijing.
Upon entering school, however, I became rather depressed. I have always been quite loose and free-spirited, and held within me a natural negativity against political issues. However, the political fervor here in school was extremely heavy, and almost everybody around me were patriotic party members, active and passionate for their political party. Furthermore, I was the only Christian. My mother even instructed me countless of times, “Never, ever mention things relating to God in school, and be involved in the party!”
I felt incredibly repressed, and wept in prayer to God, “Why did you put me in such a place? There is not a single Christian beside me! What should I do?”
Suddenly a verse entered my heart: “I put you in the darkest place on earth to shine my light and be my salt.”
I answered, “Oh Lord, I am but a small country girl from a remote village with the lowest college entrance scores (all the students here had extremely high college entrance grades). Who will listen to me?”
The Lord said to me, “Set your mind to rest, for I am with you.”
Throughout my four years in university, these words provided me great strength and courage.
All freshmen have to take a class called “College Student Development Counseling.” The teacher said, “Let’s play a game. But you have to first sign up before I can tell you the game rules.” A male student and I both signed ourselves up. The teacher then explained, “Step up onto the podium. I’ll give you 5 minutes in which you can speak whatever you wish.” And so the timing began.
I hesitated for a second, and then began speaking in a slightly trembling voice. “Have you ever heard of Jesus? Do you know Jesus? I really want you all to know him. I know Jesus, He is my Lord, and my closest friend. He was nailed on the cross to die for us…” My nervousness slowly melted away, and by the time my minutes were up, I had basically preached the whole gospel.
The whole class was silent. The teacher then followed this up with a class discussion. Some of the students said, “I feel peaceful, like I’m in church.” Others said, “I find her sincere and honest.” Yet some said, “I object.” A male student said, “I think she’s like an old nun.” Another male student even added, “I remember that the People’s Republic of China and the rules in the national constitution does not allow religious speech in public areas, so her actions are illegal.”
From this game, I received an approximate understanding of what the students’ basic view was towards the gospel, and began praying silently in my heart for them.
Chapter Three
About a month before Christmas, Teacher Peter from my church told me that the church was preparing a sort of evangelism Christmas Eve event, and that every member could bring along three friends. I was very excited, and asked him if I could bring a few more. He consented. In the end, I ended up bringing more than 30 people. Whether I knew them or not, I did not care; I just sent out invitations here and there, so long as I brought as much as I could together with me.
About a month before that night, I knelt down before God every day to pray for these people, hoping that they will all come to know Jesus. But on that night, half of them left without even finishing the sermon. The remaining half mostly displayed obvious signs of discontentment and impatience. A female student even flung the present the church gave to her at me at the end of the night, saying that she will never participate in such events again. Only one female student expressed a willingness to accept Jesus. Yet she claimed it was only because she was touched by the “human love” evident in church, and soon failed to attend future services.
On that night, I did not sleep the whole night. I questioned God, why did it end up like this? Did I not pray enough for them? Did I not love them enough? Did I do anything wrong? Did not my prayers reach your heavenly throne?
Throughout the following days, I sunk into a depressed state of deep frustration.
Yet God very quickly let me discover my own problem in evangelism: I saw others’ salvation entirely as my own doing. Even when I was praying for His people, I would rely on my own ardor and zeal to “move God.” I did not realize that all things were in God’s hands, and that I was only but His servant, a tool in His hands.
When I was finally enlightened to this understanding, I was very quickly able to restore myself from that state of frustration.
Teacher Peter was also a great help to me. He kept teaching me the truth, and the God’s words which he preached were pure and sweet, bringing great power to change and reestablish new life, allowing my spirit to be strengthened progressively. This deep yet wonderful message awakened my soul so that my heart was filled with joy.
His message was never intended to incite or to instigate, he was never pretentious, never tried to please, never added in his own superfluous opinions. Through his extremely responsible and faithful message of truth, my faith started to be built on the rock of the bible, no longer being based on wild emotions, no longer chasing after mystical things.
When I reflect back on the first time I accepted the Lord, I had at first only regarded my Christian faith as a means to practicing virtue and a source of comfort, being content with just the superficial understanding, and had no strong burden for the other people’s salvation. But under Teacher Peter’s guidance, I was changed. God’s words became the foundation of my life, and the gospel became the core.
I remember one night walking back to school after listening to his sermon, when my heart was suddenly filled with the Holy Spirit as infinite joy and contentment overflowed from within me. I didn’t know what to do, nor did I know how to release this emotion. So I bought several stalks of blossomed sunflowers, and passed them out to my dorm mates once back into my dormitory so that they could share my happiness.
Chapter Four
Ever since the first year of university, for each school year, I would arrange all the names of my classmates into a list and pray for each one individually.
Every week, I would try my best to invite people to church. On some weeks I would invite more than 10 people, including those whom I initiatively invited through conversation. Yet when it came to that Sunday morning, I would have to call each of them one by one, go knock on their doors, and still end up having a majority of them not attend. Some would make excuses that they had a sudden emergency, others would admit that they did not feel like going anymore, while some simply could (or would) not wake up. Therefore, I could usually be seen leaving one dormitory crestfallen, visiting another dormitory only to meet yet another load of dejection, and finally just going to church alone sullenly.
Sometimes there would be one or two persons accompanying me, but most of them would attend only once and not come back.
This resistance towards the gospel has something to do with the environment of our university. Firstly, the political atmosphere here is pretty heavy. Most of the students here want to join the party, so they tend to shut out all religious activities, afraid to risk their admission and membership. Secondly, since this is indeed a prestigious university, most of the students all consider themselves to be the top student and are thus rather arrogant and obstinate. Thirdly, the level of secularization here is quite high, and the students have long since sought after all sorts of political and financial gains and interests, participating in various activities that require practicality and negligence of the spiritual matters.
But thank the Lord, for even in such an environment, He did not let me lose heart or be depressed. I would buy a lot of bibles to give to my classmates, and would write and speak out my faith during class, and would also frequently sing praises and hymns for them to hear. During class, whenever the teacher talked about subjects relating to Christianity, I would use the verses in the bible to respond to him. Although there were no fruits, I did not harbor any complaints in my heart.
Soon, the school caught wind of news that I was evangelizing, and the teachers came to have a talk with me. But I knew that everything was in God’s hands, and through this simple faith, had no fear.
Gradually, I became “famous” to the point that even a lot of students from other departments knew about “that Christian” in our department. Some jokingly named me as a religion founder, some mocked me, some observed me in curiosity, some insisted that I should be arrested, and some even spread rumors that I used my beauty to seduce male students to church! In the face of all these negative remarks, my heart only gave thanks to God.
Chapter Five
When year 2004 came, the church organized an all-night prayer meeting for the surrounding city. A single bible passage carved deep into my heart that night: God made a covenant with Abraham that He will give unto him as inheritance all the lands upon which his feet touches and which his eyes can see. I know that He gave the same promise to me, and I saw the vision that Beijing will be revived.
On the way back to school that day, I walked about every unit of the school campus, praying as I walked along.
I walked across every floor of the girl’s dormitory, asking God to select more followers of Him out of these dormitories. I also walked about every stories of the education and office buildings, asking God to revive His servants from every college department and every grade, so that every person who attempted to know Him would be able to find a Christian in his or her own department and grade. I also went over to every family houses, basements, and working civilian’s living quarters, praying for each one of them.
I even stepped upon every corner of the campus, pointing to every pavilions, corridors, and lawns and saying, “Soon there will definitely be brothers and sisters who will have bible study and worship the Lord in these places!”
I actually walked around the campus for 3 whole hours. Although I happened to have a stomachache on that particular day and was very fatigued, God still gave me enough strength. As I dragged my weary body back to my dorm, I received a conviction in my heart: God has already answered my prayers, and this school has already received His care and favor. In fact, He will revive from this school many characters who are greater and stronger than me…people who will change the whole of China.
Chapter Six
After two years of university, God granted me my first experience in leading a soul to salvation. His name is Ah Fei. Ever since I first entered school, I’d always felt that he was a chosen one of God. Although he was the class monitor at that time, was a party zealot and thus opposed to the gospel, God touched me to never give up praying for him.
I invited him to church every week. At first, he would make excuses that he was busy, but then one day he finally told me directly, “Bai Jia, don’t call me up again, and don’t talk about such matters with me ever.”
I was a bit sad, but did not lose hope. One night, he and I both watched a gospel video together. At about 11pm on a Saturday, he gave me a call, asking me if I could take him along to church service the next day. I clung on to the phone receiver stunned for half a minute, then quickly consented.
The next day I took him to Sunday service, and when he heard the prayer that Teacher Peter did for him beside him, he was moved to the heart. On that day he did the acceptance prayer and accepted Christ. I cried. When he got baptized, I cried again, letting out tears of thanksgiving and delight.
After Ah Fei accepted Christ, his faith began to grow swiftly and firmly. Because party members have to be atheists, he determinedly gave up his membership. Eventually a huge commotion arose in the department and school. The school called him to deter him, but he refused to waver. Some teachers even talked about this episode during undergraduate classes, saying, “There is a fellow student among you who used to be a significant person of potential in the party, but he was seduced by bad people and got mingled into religion and strayed away from the right path. Don’t you ever follow him in falling prey to any religions.” And hence the gospel was spread from there on.
Ah Fei brought Fei Xue to church, and he also accepted Christ. But at that time he still was not very clear about the gospel, and even asked the people who led him to the confession prayer, “Did you just make that all up yourself?” But it was the Lord who personally led him and provided him with the wisdom to understand the bible. Although he went through many obstacles in his spiritual faith, eventually his faith became rooted and firm, and he became a precious instrument of the Lord.
Next, Tingting and Ling also accepted Christ. She heard the gospel from Ah Fei, and believed as soon as she heard it. That day I blessed her, asking God to let her be like an angel to other people, giving them blessings and comfort. And God did indeed use her this way.
Ling is my classmate to whom I have been evangelizing ever since the first time I entered university. She was the one who accepted Christ that Christmas night in the first year. She is a good woman, simple, kind-hearted, soft, and pleasant; basically, she has all the good ladylike virtues. But all throughout these three years, each time I invited her to church, she said she dared not and that she felt she was unworthy. Yet one Sunday on my third academic year, she went, and accepted Christ with tears in the middle of a praise song called There is a Gift.
To summarize: I was packing up my things to leave university after graduation when out of the blue, I came across the name list which I had used to pray for all my classmates. Every year Ah Fei’s name would be on top, Ling’s second. I myself had forgotten all about it, but God had not.
Chapter Seven
Soon, the gospel blossomed all over the school. Xiao Xin, after a long period of resistance, finally accepted the Lord in tears.
Yu, my best friend in university, after three years of opposition and prejudice against the church, also finally turned to God— before when I had tried evangelizing to her several times, I would only end up close to tears of rage and sorrow, but the Lord’s mercy and great power finally captured her. She soon became a faithful and brave servant of the Lord.
My boyfriend Yijun was neither converted nor baptized in our church, but still he devoted himself to our church, gradually becoming a leader. Both of us started serving God in the church in one heart.
Shortly after, one by one, many more students accepted Christ. We would often ride the same public transportation to the church services, forming a rowdy crowd of 10-20 people, each one of our hearts filled with joy.
God truly listens to our prayers! When I graduated there were Christians in practically every department, every grade. Sure enough, my prayers were answered: we did indeed gather to sing praises, study the bible, and spread the gospel in every corridor, pavilion, and meadow!
In fact, we had created a Christian atmosphere in the school, and students began to take notice of our faith, reveal their interests, debate and discuss publicly, and try to understand…
When I asked the school book-seller, he told me that he sold out quite a few numbers of bibles each day.
That spring, I walked around the school campus, and as I looked at the little new shoots sprouting out among the grass, I could not help but praise God loudly, “Oh Lord, nobody can stop spring from coming, and neither can anyone stop your revival in this place. When spring comes, how can the grass not turn green again?”
Later through several university gatherings, I discovered that the Christians in my school were rather different from the Christians in the other universities of Beijing. Because the Christian students in our school were able to withstand political and governmental pressures better, their faith took deeper root among the struggles, their power to endure pressure and prosecution strengthened, and they were more willing to pay the price for the Lord.
I give thanks to God for such an exceptional and special environment in our school. He makes all things work for the good, and benefits those who love Him.
Chapter Eight
As the number of believers grew, we had to split away from the original service to form an independent student service. We called it “The Vineyard.”
The numbers in Vineyard increased to the point that one room was not enough, so we started using two rooms. Unfortunately, it was then that a sad thing happened: Teacher Peter no longer continued to pastor us!
After Teacher Peter left, Vineyard suffered a severe setback. The number of attendees started to shrink, and sometimes we could not even manage to fill up a single room. Coincidentally, all the co-workers started to become weak together. There were disputes between co-workers with lots of finger-pointing criticisms. A lot of people did not really accept the new pastor, and their faith dipped down to a low point. Many of the new believers stopped attending services.
As Vineyard seemed to waste away into desolation before my very eyes, my heart was extremely sorrowful. One Sunday, eleven, twelve of us co-workers had a meeting after the service. This meeting soon turned into a complaint ground, and later on even became a court of blames and accusations. In the end, Yijun spoke up, “Let’s not complain and grumble anymore, or blame each other. Let’s hold hands and kneel together to pray!”
When we knelt down together before the Lord and started to pray, every one of us started weeping loudly. We threw ourselves onto the floor to confess and repent, admitting our weaknesses and also beseeching fervently for the sake of Grapevine. Everyone wept, and started to pray out loud, pleading the Lord to have mercy on us, to revive us. From that day onwards, God bestowed upon us a spirit of unity, and began a fresh new revival in Vineyard.
From then onwards, Vineyard gradually grew from an unweaned child into an adolescence who can feed himself solid foods; from an undisciplined fellowship utterly dependent on the pastor, Vineyard steadily revolutionized into fellowships which were mainly led by co-workers and administered with clear regulations, roles and accountabilities; from mainly relying upon Sunday sermons as its growth source into a growth driven by individual devotions, Bible study groups and college prayer meetings.
As the fellowship became sound and healthy, the numbers of attendees started to increase, and soon we had to separate into morning and afternoon services, calling them Grape one and Grape two respectively. Afterwards the members in Grape two grew too large again, and had to split into Grape two and Grape three.
It was painful for me each time we had to split up. Especially when Ling, Yu, Fei Xue, and Ah Fei separated from us, the co-workers and I were all reluctant and sad to see them go. But because we were expectant of the joy and even greater harvest field awaiting us in the future, we temporarily swallowed our personal emotions and devoted ourselves into our ministries.
Thus the Lord blessed us greatly. Now there are already more than a hundred attendees in Vineyard, and students come from universities all over the city of Beijing. I believe that God will bestow increasing blessings onto His Vineyard so that it can become Beijing’s blessing.
Chapter Nine
On September, 2005, I decided to test for graduate study of the university where Yi Jun was as I wanted to continue evangelizing in this school together with him.
There was only three more months left till the examination day, and not only have I just begun to seriously prepare for it, but I was testing for the most prestigious institute in Beijing. Everyone felt that the possibility of my being accepted was low. Furthermore, throughout this postgraduate entrance exam period, I never stopped attending services, and continued serving the Lord all week. I did not stop my ministries in church, either. It also just happened to be Christmas season at the time, and there were a lot of services I needed to do, on which I did not procrastinate. Moreover, each time I was alone in my study room, the first thing I did was to spend over an hour reading the Bible. The majority of my concerns and thoughts were still placed on the evangelization.
Everyone who was taking the same examination as me thought I was crazy, that I had turned into a religious zealot. But I knew in my heart that no matter how important things seem to be before me, in my list of priorities in life, God will always be the first.
One day, a group of students half-jokingly, half-seriously said to me that it would be a miracle if I could make it into this graduate university. When I heard this, I felt a bit dejected. I returned to my study room, and it just so happened chronologically that I was reading Nehemiah. When the Israelites wanted to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem, the gentiles mocked them, “What are those feeble Jews doing? Will they restore their wall? Will they offer sacrifices? Will they finish in a day? What they are building—even if a fox climbed up on it, he would break down their wall of stones!” Yet when God’s people relied on Him to concentrate on their work, they finished the whole building in just 52 days.
I hurriedly took out my calendar and did some calculations, and discovered that from that day until the day of the examinations, excluding all Sundays, there were just exactly 52 days left. I was greatly encouraged!
After that, I flipped over to Zechariah, and came upon another encouraging verse: “’Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.” My heart was immediately filled with thanksgiving and joy.
Chapter Ten
On that examination day, just before I departed for the exam hall, I flipped open the Bible, and a verse in Isaiah chapter 33 caught my eye: “He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure.” I was so overjoyed that tears flowed from my eyes. Oh Lord, what more worries do I have when you love me so very much?
Both two days of examinations went by smoothly, especially the day of the film history exam. Before the test started, I had jokingly said that it would be great if I would be tested on Ingmar Bergman (world famous film director and producer) and “50 Years of Chinese film.” Bergman was someone whom I had researched on before for my undergraduate studies, so I could answer any questions about him with my eyes closed. As for the 50 years of Chinese film, I’d always had an interest in this subject and was thus the most prepared for it.
I was stunned when I received my examination booklet, for it actually tested on these two topics! In the end I received a 136 on this test subject, pushing my scores far ahead of everybody else’s.
When the examination grades were released, I ranked second in my particular major. At first I had thought that they will be choosing four students from this particular major, but when I was given my information booklet for re-examination, I learned that they would only be choosing two, the top two out of the top three scores. At that instant I became nervous. Because my score was hardly any better than the third place grade by having a single mark difference, I knew the possibility of my elimination was still very big.
At that time my mother was extremely anxious, and wanted to come up to Beijing to help me make social contacts and curry favor. My heart was feeling anxious and fretful as well. But God once again used the words in the Bible to comfort me: “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.” This verse immediately gave me shame and thanksgiving. I knelt down in prayer, “Oh Lord, are not all things in your hands? With you to help me, who else do I need for help?” After praying, my heart was filled with peace and calmness.
The second re-examination went by smoothly, and eventually all of us top three scorers were accepted. When I was notified of my acceptance, my heart was filled with delight. Not because I had become a postgraduate student of a prestigious department, but because I saw how much God doted on me, lifted me up, and wanted to use me. I know that in terms of diligence, everyone else was better than me; in terms of intelligence, there were people even more intelligent than me everywhere; in terms of ability, there were tons of people out there with better skills and talents than me…Yet God does not favor the strength of a horse, or the swiftness of man, but pleases in those who reveres and fears Him and hopes for His loved ones.
Chapter Eleven
When I entered graduate school, I continued to spread the gospel among the students and continuously made improvements and adjustments according to the condition of the new school:
First, in my previous school, my method of evangelization was just to work hard to get people to go to church so that they could believe by listening to the pastor’s preaching. Now, I tend to use individual sermons to preach to them personally.
Second, I used to put my utmost concern on the propagation of the gospel. Now, God has put an even more passionate burden in my heart, which is to establish the church and to uphold the true message, so that the church will root its foundation on the truth of the Bible.
Thirdly, I had always been very particular about the number of participants in my gospel ministry, but now I feel a more pressing need to find those who are devoted to God and who are willing to pay the price for the Lord. I want to find such a person, and invest all my love and energy onto him or her through small Bible study groups to train him/her to become a soldier of the Lord.
Fourth, in the past I was used to tackling such things on my own, but now I join forces with all of my co-workers to establish a great and powerful co-worker fellowship in unity, building the church together through our services with love for one another.
Fifth, I used to always speak out and expose myself onstage during my ministry to be a leader. But now I am Yinjun’s partner and warden, withdrawing myself from the public’s eye, and instead focusing on ministries like leading Bible studies, welcoming new friends, and caring and encouraging others.
Sixth, I used to strive to work for the Lord and to participate in all kinds of services, yet totally neglected practicing my own integrity and preparing myself to be an ideal instrument of God. But now I have started to train myself to be God’s disciple, getting up at 5:20 am every morning, doing prayer to refresh my spirit, memorizing Bible verses, getting more intimate with God, and also practicing temperance and piety. Although I still have some of my old bad habits of laziness, I have already made many great changes.
God has always blessed us till today, increasing the fruits of our ministry day by day. Three years ago I have already offered up myself to the Lord, that no matter what, I will follow Him my whole life to serve Him and abide with Him. He truly does love me, and I truly love Him.
The author now resides in Beijing studying as a graduate student.
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